It was a Friday night. Mom and Dad were out, and I was charged to babysit my little brother. Shrek had recently come out on video; it was THE must-see movie at the time, especially for someone my little brother's age, who was just a little guy when the movie was released. I was old enough to drive, and I remember taking him to rent the video and to pick out our own snacks for the night. We spread a blanket out on the living room floor and enjoyed the movie and our snacks like we were at a drive-in. Every bit of that evening seemed like such a luxury - like we were at the movies at home. Just Ben and me. Looking back, I don't really remember being upset that I had to sacrifice a Friday night to babysit him. That might be my rose-colored glasses speaking, but I'm fairly certain that I adored that "little guy" (again, little guy seems an inappropriate moniker for someone with whom I could share clothes when he was 7 and I was 14). In fact, I recall creating a video at the end of my senior year of high school, highlighting the most important parts of my life, in which I called him, "the sunshine of my life." Pretty sure I'm not exaggerating this time.
Somehow, since then, we've shared similar affinities - for music, movies, people, social issues, senses of humor, etc. Did our similarities grow out of moments like that? (Does he even remember that?) Which brings me back to the origin of the Shrek story: illustrating how much younger my little brother is. When you have a sibling that much younger, you not only FEEL like you have power in shaping who they become, but you're more AWARE of it. In retrospect, I see that my other siblings and I shaped each other - our experiences, our personalities, our sensibilities, our pet peeves (to reference an earlier post, again, sorry Erin) - but with Ben, there's an awareness that it's happening in REAL TIME. I wanted him to take advantage of every missed opportunity of my own, to learn from my mistakes, to learn from my successes, to heed my advice, and to have a life that was just as amazing as my own, if not better. Sometimes that annoyed him (remember your college search?). Sometimes it challenged and motivated him (let's talk about test scores and graduate school). Sometimes he didn't even know it was happening. Sometimes I didn't even know it was happening.
Although we're quite similar, I can't take much of the credit for who he is. Ultimately, he's pretty uniquely Ben. I've never known someone so academically-minded: from the chapter book he wrote as a pre-teen to the books on ancient Asian civilization that were on his Christmas lists as a teenager and the aspirations he has for his graduate studies. Not-so-secretly (at least now), I hope that my doctoral and his master's program bring us to the same institution... a girl can dream, right? The things he thinks about - well - I don't know if anyone else has the same thoughts. I've had the pleasure, the last few years, of sharing in his successes - which seem to crop up, left and right. He's an incredibly impressive young man. I cannot begin to express my admiration and pride in the young man he has become.
And as you can imagine, I'm a little verklempt at this point. Ben leaves TOMORROW for Japan, and I'm not with him to send him off. For the next four months, I hope he proves to be a giant among his peers - both in terms of physical stature and the quality of his character. If I've learned anything about him in his last 21 years on this earth, he'll do exactly that. Cheers to you, little brother! May your journey to the other side of the world only enrich the amazing and interesting life you already lead. I wish you safe travels, rich experiences, and an expedient return (for my sake, not yours; for you, I hope it feels like forever before you have to come back)! For the rest of you: if this ode to Ben has piqued your interest, you can read HIS blog too! It's just as funny and much more loquacious. Check out his adventures in Japan at theosakatriangle.blogspot.com
And to steal once more from Shrek because it seemed appropriate--
You're on your way...
Peace, love, and ogres--
EMILY
I DO remember the Shrek night. We went to the Pharm (back when that was a thing), and got Shrek from the movie section (which I had never been in before, to my memory). Dude Where's My Car was playing on the TVs behind the counter (if I remember correctly, it was right where he had parked it). I'm pretty sure we had frozen pizza made from a kit (and this was not the time that it was droopy in the middle and you were afraid you were going to poison us all). You told me you were going to get Shrek, I thought it sounded lame, a little kid's movie (this was before I discovered South Park or Family Guy and realized that, just because it's animated doesn't mean it's just for little kids). I remember watching it twice in a row because we loved it so much, and I remember talking mom into buying Shrek for you for your birthday later that year. And of course, all of this took place on VHS, that's how long it's been (and the reason we laid on the floor and watched the movie is because we still had those two giant blue and green pillows that were super comfortable and put your head at just the right angle so you could lay on the floor and watch TV without straining your neck OR getting tired).
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, you DO remember that night! I had totally forgotten the blue and green pillows - YES. You just made my day (except the part when you admit you thought the movie was lame at first, but, then again, I think that does prove that you've always been a young man who's ahead of his time).
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