On a recent phone interview, my interviewer opened the conversation with, "I REALLY related to some of the things that you wrote in one of your essays - that no one really understands what you're studying." We joked about the many times that people have asked us what we DO with a degree in communication; if we intend to be television broadcasters and whether we'd be covering news, entertainment, sports, or otherwise; or if we're doing this just because we like to talk, are good at talking, and want to keep talking and get paid for it. For those of you who have asked me these questions: It's okay; I owe you an explanation. And to all of my fellow comm majors, comm scholars, comm professionals: Sigh.
Since I'll likely post a lot in the coming months about school (because, well, let's face it, I LOVE school), I should probably tell you what in the world I spend all this time, coffee consumption, and energy on. Before we start, though, I must provide a warning: There are many, diverse directions you can pursue with a degree in communication; I represent one tiny little blip on the spectrum of these possibilities. I, by no means, represent what EVERYONE does or can do with a degree in communication. In the simplest of terms, I study communication in personal relationships. More specifically (yet not really specific at all), I really want to know what's different or the same about how people communicate online v. face-to-face, and how these differing communication contexts impact characteristics of the relationships. In order to answer these questions, I don't just read books about it, but I conduct my own research. Someday, I'll be the person whose book chapter someone else reads to learn the answer to these questions. That's what I do.
Now, in doing what I do (which is such a vague phrase, but just go with it), I've discovered that scholar/researcher Emily is a bit of a contradiction to regular life Emily. Let me give you a few examples:
1) Scholar/researcher Emily studies mediated communication - communicating with others via text messages, Google chat, Facebook, Twitter, etc. However, regular life Emily doesn't even own a smartphone. Hmmm...
2) Scholar/researcher Emily is really interested in the adaptation of nonverbal cues in mediated contexts - all the nonverbal cues that are visible in face-to-face communication (gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.) that aren't quite possible in a text message. She's really interested in this topic because she imagines that it's far less interesting to read this blog than it would be to experience her talking about all of this in person (can you imagine how much arm-flailing she'd be doing by this point?!). And this is one of the reasons that regular life Emily has put the kibosh on online dating for so long: She's just not the same and other people just aren't the same online. I'm afraid I'd be totally lame online! But these days, regular life Emily is changing her tune, and potentially diving into the online dating scene (more to come, my friends; MORE.TO.COME.).
Besides these scholar/researcher Emily and regular life Emily contradictions, I must bring up another instance in which I have proven myself a hypocrite. Please direct your attention to Exhibit A, a post from last spring in which I spewed my rants and complaints about a whole host of stuff (see: "You Know What Really Grinds My Gears?"). In that post, you may recall that I went on a rant about the nonsensical nature of black stretchy pants and boots as a fashion choice. I must admit that I, Emily Michelle Buehler, at this very moment, am wearing black stretchy pants and boots with an over-sized sweater. Crap. I caved. I may need an intervention.
So here are your take-aways, folks:
- I need to upgrade my phone
- You should look forward to posts about my online dating adventures
- And someone save me from the stretchy pants
- Oh, and now you know what I do (sort of)
- So stop asking me if I want to be on TV. I don't want to be on TV (but I kind of want to be on TV - in a reality show about my ridiculous life, NOT as a broadcaster)
Peace, love, and nonverbal cues (I'll let you guess which ones)--
EMILY :)
P.S. How many times are y'all going to let me talk about myself in the third-person before you get A) really concerned about my sanity, B) really annoyed with me, or C) really confused about who I'm really talking about? Just curious.
P.P.S. Don't EVEN get me started on the difference between communication and communicationS.
Do you ever stop to consider the immense number of people who are cheering you on through your life? There's a whole gaggle of people who want you to succeed, who know you'll succeed, and will be there to celebrate (and knowingly say, "I told you so") when you succeed. These are people near and far, people young and old, people who you spoke to five minutes ago and people you haven't seen for five years. And celebrating with them is so much dang fun. Their compliments and well-wishes and I-told-you-so's make you feel like a million bucks.
And then you start to wonder - am I giving back proportionately to what I'm getting from these people? Do they know I'm cheering them on too? Do I make their life's victories unforgettable? Do I make them feel like a million bucks? Do I tell them, "thanks," even when there's not some huge accomplishment to celebrate? Each day of my life, am I showing appreciation to these people who make my life so dazzling, so fulfilling, so enriching, and so sitting-on-top-of-the-world amazing?
So let's talk about my mom (who will probably be the first one to read this, the first one to tell me she read it, and she will cry when she reads it; don't make me call you that word, Mom):
My mom is awesome.
Sometimes, I try to let her know that all of MY accomplishments that SHE is so proud of actually come from HER. I didn't just fall onto this earth and teach myself everything I know. I didn't appear in this world with an innate sense of how to be a good person. I was raised by two awesome parents and a whole slew of other family members who helped shape me into this young lady you see before you today. She probably won't accept credit for any of this because she probably doesn't think that she was really trying to do any of what I'll give her credit for; and maybe that's true - maybe she didn't try to instill a love of learning in her kids, maybe she didn't intentionally sit down and create a plan for how she would make her kids grow up to be good people, maybe none of this was a conscious effort. Maybe the fact of the matter is that my mom is such an amazing person that she doesn't have to try to impart those qualities unto her children: she just does. She exudes kindness, curiosity, enthusiasm - and we followed her example.
So thanks for reading to me when I was a kid. Thanks for taking me to the library for story hour and letting me buy books whenever the Scholastic book orders came home in my book bag. Although I didn't understand it as a kid, thanks for all the educational field trips we took: nature centers, museums, parks. Thanks for setting an example for the way I should treat other people. Thanks for encouraging my curiosity with painting projects, homemade crayons, quilting, bedazzlers, Play-doh, Fashion Plates (man, I loved Fashion Plates!), crafts with Grandma, and all sorts of other stuff. Thanks for letting me play outside and make up songs to sing to myself. Thanks for my siblings who joined in a lot of these shenanigans and continue to challenge me (mentally and otherwise). Thanks for letting me be involved in a million activities and driving me back and forth from so many of them. And thanks for putting up with the perfectionist little kindergartener Emily who erased her mistakes until she burned holes in the paper - and continuing to put up with perfectionist Emily to this day. Thanks for being the first person I call when I get good news because I know you'll be the most excited and most proud of anyone I call.
Speaking of phone calls and good news: I thought this was the best way to share news with a bunch of people who care about what I'm up to (because there just aren't enough hours in the day to call/text all of you). In the last 48 hours, I have learned that I am accepted or offered a phone interview at nearly all of my top choice PhD programs. I have been awarded a fellowship at one school, in competition for a fellowship at another, and awaiting to hear more from others. I am ecstatic, and I feel as though years of hard work, once again, has paid off. I also feel incredibly grateful to all who have led me here, in one way or another. Expect to hear more updates, as my decision process progresses.
For now, I must leave you to prepare for a phone interview, at which point I'm super grateful for my dad who has taught me everything I know about socializing with strangers. He might not know that he's charismatic, but he is, and I'm glad to have learned that trait from him. By golly, I was blessed with two pretty rocking parents. Go hug your parents, if you can, y'all! Or hug your kids! Life is good.
Peace, love, and Fashion Plates--
Emily :)
