Here's how this all came about: After putting my fingers to the keys a few times already in 2014 (impressive, no?), I realized that my post frequency this semester as compared to last semester has SKYROCKETED! My post rate in the fall was darn near dismal. I posted ONCE last semester - one.single.time. And my first few posts of 2014 have elicited such a great response from you all; I have received nothing but impassioned pleas to keep on posting. Who am I not to give the people what they want? I mean, really.
But wait. Let's not get ahead of ourselves (and let's not doubt for a minute that I'm someone who has to over-analyze every irregularity in her life). What happened in the fall? Was there nothing to talk about? Well, that certainly wasn't the case because I look back and realize that I failed to mention SO MANY occurrences from the fall: The new batch of grad students in my program, visits from friends far and near, a trip to DC, the comings together of the first chapter of my thesis, another birthday, my sister's move to "The Fort," my little bro's triumphant return from Japan - man, oh, man. Okay, not a lack of things to talk about, so... Was I too busy? Get real, Emily, you're always busy. Was I uninspired? I've been uninspired before, and it typically brings about the most delicious rants about "kids these days." Hmm...
So let's explore these poignant conversations with good friends in The Dash. First of all, one of my greatest failures as your beloved blogger is not telling you about some of the great friendships I have developed in the last six months. The new cohort of grad students that joined my program in the fall have been such a bright and shining spot in my life for the last six months. I didn't nickname them for the purposes of the blog, which is a bit of let-down, I know. And I guess that means I have to call them by name and totally forsake their anonymity. Meh, whatever. On to poignant conversations --->
It began with an evening with Rainn Wilson from SoulPancake (and The Office). I accompanied my separated-at-birth, possibly fraternal twin, #twinningsohard, new yoga buddy and classmate, Ashleigh, to Rainn's talk (and it was her birthday - woo!). One of the overarching themes of his presentation was the pursuit of happiness - we all want it, we don't know how to get it, or we look for it in the wrong places, and some of us die before we figure out how to be happy. Rainn's suggestion? Gratitude. Show gratitude, be happy. Be mindful, live in the moment, and be GRATEFUL for that moment. Gratitude, mindfulness, showing kindness to others = keys to happiness? I had to chew on that for a while.
And then a few days later, I engaged in a little heart-to-heart with another dear, new classmate that I failed to tell you about until right now: Hannah. Hannah is a Texas ex with the license plate and Texas Longhorn cowboy boots to prove it. We take classes together, we TA together, we tutor together, we ride the shuttle to campus with Ron together, we spend much of our weekends together, we plan great adventures together, and we share a heart-to-heart conversation here and there. In the meanderings of our conversation the other day, we came to a juncture in which we both acknowledged that we so often depend on something external to provide us with happiness: friends, romantic partners, full social calendars, food, awards and accolades, etc. With Rainn's words weighing heavy in my mind, I thought: NO. These external sources CAN'T give us happiness. I'm the only one who can give myself happiness.
And then, my brain was struck with a lightning bolt (as it often is when I have serious revelations): Perhaps I wasn't blogging in the fall because I was unhappy? Perhaps I could have been happy and, subsequently, could have graced you all with a few more posts, if I had taken a moment to stop and appreciate what was happening in my life. If I had taken a moment to show some gratitude for new friends, the start of a new school year in an amazing place, great opportunities for myself and my family, and a journey that continues to prove itself quite exciting - maybe I could have mustered up some happiness and some posts for the party people out there in the world who survive only on my musings on this little blog o' mine.
Then, my thoughts took another turn. With the lightning bolt that had already struck my brain, the storm clouds came rolling in: So I'm blogging a lot now because there's a lot going on that I want to share with the world, and I'm HAPPY. But what if the happiness I'm experiencing now is still only a product of external factors? Am I happy because I've been admitted to some of the best PhD programs in my field in the COUNTRY, or am I truly happy? Did I create this happiness for myself, or did a few acceptance letters create the happiness? Take shelter, people, the storm has come and it's a doozy.
There's a path I can take to find reprieve from the storm: gratitude. I'm on the path now, and it's actually quite enjoyable. I implore you to try a little gratitude - to live in this moment and cherish all that this moment affords you: shelter, safety, nourishment, friendship, opportunities, experiences, health, a Mountain Dew, and a brand spankin' new iPhone 5c (okay, those last few are pretty specific to my moment, right now, but you get the picture). Hopefully, with this new-found gratitude and happiness, y'all will hear a lot more from me in the coming months.
Peace, love, and some good old fashioned HAPPINESS--
Emily :)
P.S. If you want to hear more about Rainn's take on happiness and what SoulPancake is all about, check out soulpancake.com and one of their many videos:
