So I'm one of the teaching assistants for relational communication. People always ask me what that means - relational communication - it's basically studying the communication behavior/processes of people in close relationships: romantic relationships, family relationships, friendships. As a TA, I sit in on lectures Monday and Wednesday, and then I teach two small discussion labs on Fridays.
My classes are full of wonderful students from all over the country and the world - South Africa, Abu Dhabi, Florida, New York, New Jersey, Virginia, Maryland - you name it, I got it (except Ohio - womp womp). There are some really interesting names... Blakeney, Renier, Parke, Grayson... They're all years (freshmen through seniors), they encompass all sorts of majors, and all sorts of interests. I even have a few of the guards and the center (he's 6'10"!) from the basketball team, one of the pitchers from the baseball team, one of the QBs, the libero from the volleyball team, and a few tennis players. And don't you worry, I've already been instructed not to treat the athletes any different, not to take bribes from them, and not even to accept tickets from them to their games.
Now there's one student in particular that I'd like to focus on today. He hasn't shown up to discussion lab since the first week of class; back then, it was August. He shows up to lecture, I know that. How do I know? Well, I grade their pop quizzes, and I definitely graded his from this week. I'm pretty sure I know which of the 45 students in the 9 am lab he is, but, you know, I only met him in person once, so who can be sure? And I think I know why he isn't coming to discussion labs. It has something to do with the ice queen emerging from her frozen lair after more than five years of frosty obscurity.
Before I tell you the story about him, let me remind you of the ice queen story. Back in the day when I was student teaching, I had five periods of students. Everybody LOVED me. I still talk to some of my students - that's how much they loved me! Everybody leved me except third period. One day, my cooperating teacher said, "You know third period calls you the ice queen? They told me not to tell you, but I just had to." HA! Me?! Ice queen?! Clearly their perceptions of me were a reflection of the way they treated me - if you want to be disrespectful, I'll be an ice queen. You want to be normal, I'll be the dancing queen - take your pick.
Anyway... back to 2012...
The second week of lecture, I caught the student in question watching pitches in slow motion on his laptop and checking baseball scores on ESPN.com during class. I called him out for it (discretely and nonthreateningly), encouraging him to read the prof's laptop policy in the syllabus. He promised he was taking notes. "I saw some notes," I said, "and I saw a bunch of other stuff too." I smiled all the while. Didn't want him to think he was in major trouble, but wanted to give him a warning. I was pretty sure he was in my lab section, and I thought, "he might be annoyed with me now, but I'll win him over again in lab. I'm such a delight in lab, he won't be able to stay mad at me for long."
Welp, I can't win him over if he never comes back to class.
Later that week, he missed discussion lab. Dang! There goes my first chance to win him back. I didn't think much of it until just a little while later. Walking up to the shuttle stop RIGHT AFTER class I saw - oh wait, who is that? - THE KID THAT SKIPPED MY CLASS! (or so I think; it was the laptop student, either way) Insert awkward eye contact and smile, which would have been really great subject matter for discussion in lab today as the topic was nonverbal cues, but since he didn't show up for the THIRD WEEK IN A ROW, we didn't have a chance to talk about it - OR active listening OR interpersonal needs and compatibility. Good luck with all of that material on the exam next week, Mr. Baseball.
I have concluded that he thinks I'm the ice queen. He's just like that third period class - everyone else loooooooves me, and he thinks I'm an ice queen. And if he keeps this up, the ice queen will have to give him a zero for participation and attendance in labs, and there goes 10% of his grade, all because I made him stop watching baseball in class, which made him never want to see me again.
You can't win 'em all.
Peace, love, and hope (that he'll show up next week!)--
Emily
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